Why isn’t anyone talking about this really annoying problem with the Scandinavian Sleep Method?
I happily gave up having a double bed all to myself (at least four nights a week) to share my partner’s super king-size bed almost a year ago when I moved in with him.
Obviously, there are many positives that come with living with the person you love, but even with his objectively enormous bed, co-sleeping isn’t always completely smooth sailing.
Since my partner and I both tend to feel the negative effects of even just a few nights of bad sleep, I was curious when my Tom’s Guide colleagues suggested I try the Scandiavian Sleep Method, a popular sleep hack for couples hoping to avoid a ‘sleep divorce’ (choosing not to share a bed).
My experience trying the Scandinavian Sleep Method
I was initially dubious about the Scandinavian Sleep Method; a sleep hack where each person has their own duvet or comforter while still sharing a bed. It’s named, as you probably guessed pretty easily, because it’s a common way for couples to sleep in countries like Denmark and Sweden, and social media, such as TikTok, has made people aware of it more widely.
Being too cold can disrupt sleep and even exacerbate insomnia
I was worried the intimacy and comfort of our nighttime routine would be ruined by separate covers — but I will still keen to give it a go, especially considering my partner often rolls over in bed and takes the duvet with him, leaving me cold and frustrated.
But, after setting up our bed with a duvet on each side (full disclosure: we had to initially use two king-size duvets, whereas you should really use two in Twin XL size), we managed to effectively snuggle up our usual way through the covers.
It’s important to keep your bedroom at the best temperature for sleeping (65 to 70 F/18 to 21 °C), but being too cold can disrupt sleep and even exacerbate insomnia. But to my delight, using separate duvets meant no ‘whoosh’ of coldness when my partner rolled over.
While neither of us slept very well the first night, I suspect we were just adjusting. And, I was using a super-king size 13.5 tog winter duvet on my side, which doubled up over me during the night and meant I woke up sweaty (my partner also claims he heard me snoring).
We both clocked at least eight hours each subsequent night
Once I swapped to our spare UK double duvet, we both clocked at least eight hours each subsequent night. In fact, my partner mentioned on several mornings how deeply he had slept and how well-rested he felt, while I woke a maximum of once each night, despite having been experiencing disrupted sleep in the weeks before.
And while accusations of duvet hogging have been lobbed by both sides, obviously there were no bedding squabbles, and so neither of us woke up because we were coverless and cold on the nights we tested out the Scandinavian Sleep Method.
Overall, I was surprised by how little impact the Scandinavian Sleep Method had on the intimacy of sharing a bed with your partner, and just how well we both slept while trying it. But, there are drawbacks, and one in particular rankled me.
The one annoying problem with the Scandinavian Sleep Method
It’s fantastic to find a sleep method that can improve rest for both of you, but there’s a reason my partner and I will be using the Scandinavian Sleep Method occasionally rather than permanently: the extra bedding, and in particular, the additional washing that will be required.
More time consuming and more expensive at a time when energy costs are still high
Because my partner is 6ft 2″, he bought a super king bed. The space all the bedding for it takes up in the washing machine, and in our apartment as we hang it up to dry is already significant.
Adding an extra duvet cover into the mix every week or so (particularly one that, in our case, is at least UK double sized) means we’d have to split our bedding wash in two. More time consuming and more expensive at a time when energy costs are still high.
Even if you have a full, queen/double or king bed, two duvet covers will mean extra washing. And in reality, if you want to really do the Scandinavian Sleep Method effectively, you ideally need to buy two twin XL duvets and covers.
Factor in that you’ll need additional bedding for when your main set is in the wash, and may need to change up the duvets as the seasons change, and the potential costs start to spiral.
My best tried-and-tested sleep tips for couples
I’m happy to use the Scandinavian Sleep Method from time to time, but if you’re set against the extra bedding and washing it requires, these are my alternative tips to help you co-sleep more effectively.
1. Nail the basics
No sleep hack is going to magically provide the perfect night’s sleep if you haven’t got the core elements of your bedroom set up right; mattress, the best pillows and the right bedding.
If you have the budget, there are even smart beds with adjustable firmness and temperature control on either side that can fix the issue of different sleeping styles and temperatures. A cheaper option if one of you sleeps hot is having cooling bedding on hand for summer.
I also replaced one of the pillows with a firmer option that bridges the gap between my shoulder and head more effectively. If you and your partner sleep in different positions, it’s important to pick pillows that will keep your neck and spine aligned, and not just grab multiples of any old cheap headrest.
2. Invest in the right sleep accessories
Although my partner jokingly described seeing me turn towards him in the dark in my latest white, silk sleep mask as “like something out of a horror movie,” he’s actually incredibly understanding about the fact I need that and white noise (from a fan or app) for any chance of drifting off.
Sleep accessories don’t just improve your own sleep, they’re also great for co-sleeping.
If my partner goes to bed after me (unusual) or gets up before me to go to the gym (more common), he can have lights on because mine is an effective blackout mask.
I’ve found white noise also goes some way to drown out snoring, but if your partner’s nighttime throat rumblings are keeping you awake, ear plugs are are very cost effective way of blocking the sound.
3. Upgrade and upsize
Investing in a winter duvet with a higher tog rating for the chillier months like my partner and I did shortly after I moved in can work wonders. A duvet that retains more heat helps limit cover hogging because one of you is too cold!
However, the best tip if you like the idea of the Scandinavian Sleep Method but don’t want the hassle of two duvets, is to upgrade your current cover by one size to give you and your partner more surface area to share.
So, if you have a full-size mattress, opting for a queen duvet, or treating yourself to a king-size comforter for your queen bed, and so on.
Although that’s a bit tricky if you already have a large bed and duvet, we bought some affordable blankets that one of us can use if we need some extra warmth, and they helped me add my touch to the style of our shared bed.